Beyond Graduation

Today, many of my friends from EC will be graduating: walking in front of Cowles Hall and collecting a tiny piece of paper that supposedly means you are now significantly more educated than a huge percentage of the global population. Good for you. Some of you, if not all of you, are probably extremely apprehensive. The warm purple cocoon of college slowly slips from our shoulders and it is time for you to begin a new chapter. I'm sure you've heard all of this before. What I have to say about college graduation is similar if not maybe the same as everyone else, but I hope you stick around to read it anyway,
When we graduated from high school, everything was definite, more concrete for us. There was solid structure waiting pleasantly for us on the other side of the long hot summer, although we were nervous, jittery with excitement ("This is college, man. What could possible be better?"), graduating from college we all do not have this same concrete-ness. It's a wavy mess, a mirage in the desert. Some wanted to go to the grad school and can't, some are, some are looking for jobs, some have jobs. You are entering a world that can no longer be fixed with a phone call or the registrar's office. There are no more summers and breaks for Christmas. When you graduate, life's unpredictability looms over you like a storm, waiting to crash down upon your heads.
I know a few friends who graduation is not a happy time. For them, their prospects are slim and they slink back to a tiny hellhole. Yet I know she has such spirit and vitality, her art brings great beauty into this world. So for those of you that are like her, the coming storm darkening your way, the rain chilling you until you are numb, listen to these words and remember that this is only a short time.
The dark cannot last forever, all that waxes will wane. You have been set upon this road for no reason, but only you can keep walking to move on to something better. Life itself has no reason, but you can give reason to life. Make sense? Probably not. Seems a bit extensialist even to me. Anyway, it's okay to be confused and afraid. You are so young, even now as you walk and grip that diploma, hoping it contains the answer. But it won't. It can help. It gives you something. Or maybe it doesn't give you anything (hello...anthropology major, what does that degree do?!). You are more than just a slip of paper, you are young and contain such potential. No matter what awaits you after you leave, no matter how dark or bright or dirty or rugged you road is, this is not the end of all things.

"Not all who wander are lost" J.R.R Tolkien

PS: Feel free to post comments, criticism, or questions! I want to hear from my readers

Is Fat the worst you can be?

So I am am avid Pinterest fan, and I find it relaxing to scroll the various pages, finding recipes and pretty clothing and geeky pictures. It may sound a little ridiculous, yes, but I enjoy it. It's cathartic. That's all that matters.
Except there is this one thing, well, really section on Pinterest that irks me to no end. What bothers me the most is the hate on photographs featuring bigger, curvier, or non-stick thing women. It is there for men, but mostly women. For anyone who has really looked at some of the Pinterest boards, there are a multitude of fitness pages, most of them guilting individuals into feeling horrible about themselves and their weight. Fitness isn't bad or wrong, quite the contrary. Healthy is great. But shaming others into feeling bad about their bodies is bad, is wrong. But let's be real here, it isn't just the internet. No, it's our culture. It's all over the internet that the most important aspect of a person is their body and how skinny it is. For men and women, it's the same. The slimmer you are, the better of a person you are. Which is a fallacy if I ever heard one.
 Everywhere you look, it's all about the skinny. And here is what I say to you: is fat really the worst you can be?
Think about it this way, people can be fat, they can be skinny, or most likely someplace in between. They had have big hips or little, curvy stomachs or flat ones, but that doesn't reflect their personality. Because we have individuals with absolutely wretched personalities. There are ignorant people (we have an epidemic of those), bigots, racist or sexist people, you have people who are greedy and cruel, we have the Michael Vick's of the world, and those who are jerks, nasties, selfish and narcassitic people who can only see themselves. True, you cannot see these traits by looking at them, but you cannot deny these people exist. No one shames them for their rude or egotisical behavior. People can be so cruel, people can be so hard hearted. So, really, is 'fat' the worst thing a human being can be?
By far, the answer is no. Now, to be straight, I'm not saying that obesity is healthy, but it too is beautiful. Beauty isn't a synonym for skinny. Look in the mirror in the morning and if you're a good person, what should a number on a scale mean to you?
Maybe the biggest issue with the shaming  people for their body is my inherent dislike of labeling. I shy away from such confining and mediocre labels. I am more than my body size, I am more than just bones, fat, and skin. What does that matter? I tend to fight against the mere label of physicality. My body is a part of me, but it is not fully me. I am more than just a body, as are all people. Who we are should not be defined by weight or curves. Having a bigger body size means nothing in the grand scheme of things. There are more important things in life than to be so obsessed with your weight.
 

Life, Love, and the Truth about Happiness (How CLICHE does that sound?!)

So, again I lapsed into laziness and neglected my blog. Reason #378 why Laura should never have children, I tend to neglect things. Over the past several months, my ideas and opinions have changed a bit. As a woman, my life has been greatly effected by the Republican War on Women (yes, it is the REPUBLICAN War). Now, I prefer to keep a distance from politics, like a 36 1/2 inch pole, but it's hard not to talk about things like anti-women in the US. Anyways....
I'm also ending my junior at college, and life is going a little bit crazy. I have one more year and then no more excuses, no more laziness, no more lounging around and napping. Sometimes I think about it and I want to cry, I think I won't be able to do it. I won't be able to make it on my own. Then I think, that yes, I can do it. I can survive. I've fought for everything in my life and I definitely won't stop now. But that's not why I'm writing tonight.
My fickle self is always changing and evolving, adapting to the individual I'm becoming. I find that I enjoy talking with people, I enjoy listening and loving and helping. I think by changing my blog to someplace where I can express myself and enjoy the virtual company of others (humans are social creatures you know) I can help myself grow even more. I will keep the previous posts up, just so I can look back and see the giant leap between the two, but also to remind myself of the person I'm becoming.

I'm writing about relationships. I've been in a relationship with the same man for almost three years. This may come as a surprise to some people, because these people are saying "yeah, and?" or "So?"
well, this relationship still is a wonder to me sometimes because of the lovely family life I come from. My parents are divorced and can barely stand the sight of each other. My grandparents fought constantly, and I practically lived with them. The sob story goes on. But this isn't about the past, and I have no reason to mope over it. I'm talking about the future and the experiences I have gone through.
My relationship with my boyfriend is the most precious relationship in my life, and I put this before everything else. Yes, I love him. But this isn't the most important part of our relationship. Besides my love for him, I actually like him. Yes, like. You should never stop liking the person you love. It's important. He's my best friend. But how cliche is that? Hey, maybe it's cliche because it's true.
Communication is key. Let's expand on this. I communicate honestly with him. And he's honest with me. Sometimes I ask too much of him, ask more then he can give me. And when I realize this, when I realize that what I've asked is too much, I ask his forgiveness. And he forgives me. Why? Because we both realize what we have. Having a relationship is a blessing, it is a rare jewel glinting in pure sunlight. Be in awe of it because it's so beautiful. Love is a gifts, a gift that is eternal and wonderful and makes two people vulnerable and exposed, and bonds them in a way that cannot be done through other means. Love  is.
Experts babble incessantly, saying that 'you need to hold on tightly' but I say, don't hold on too tightly, because then you might squeeze everything out of it. But don't loose sight of it. Live your relationship. It's not an object or some academic essay your anthropology professor is making you read. It's human, physical, mental, romantic, emotional...it is everything. If it cannot be everything to you, then maybe you shouldn't be in it. Point blank, that's it. It's everything or it's nothing. If you (who ever you is) want a relationship to work, that's all you need to go into it knowing. It's is ALL or it is NOTHING. That's it.
This advice sounds so simple, doesn't it? Be honest, communicate, and give it all you got.
YET....no one seems to ever do this! I mean, those words are so simple, those actions are so simple. I say be honest with your partner, in the listener's head the words seem to morph into 'sacrifice everything and lose yourself until you resemble the Pokemon Ditto'

So then, I say, communicate with your partner. And somehow this is translated into: hold my emotions and problems inside until I turn into the Hulk and SMASH my boyfriend into tiny bloody pieces:

Shocking when relationships these days don't work out, isn't it?

Then these women, who like the above, become soulless succubi who serial date because they cannot bond with men due to their Hulk-like smashing and dull personalities, complain because they cannot maintain steady relationships and want to have the 'old couple' romance:

and then these women mope. Because they don't have this kind of romance. This kind of romance still happens today. It's everywhere. I know, I have it. I will stick by my boyfriend through thick and thin, I promise this. There will be doubters, haters, romanticists, and some people who may not even take me seriously. I don't care. Relationships are not complicated. Really. You fight, you love each other, you talk, you will be separated, you will have days when you cannot physically stand one another. But all that is perfectly alright. That's part of being in a relationship. Today, romantic relationships are all about choices, choices that weren't available before. But it is now up to those two partners to make their relationship work. For it to work, see advice above!