Loans and Healthcare

Alright you, listen the hell up. I am making my way to rant, a rant to end all rants. There will be foul langauge. Believe you me, there will be tons of it. I am fucking angry. Actually I don't think there is a word to describe how angry I am because the English langauge desn't have enough words. In general. Ack. I'm pissed. Why am I pissed may you ask if you're still around to ask?
Well it has to do with the title. Loans and Healthcare. Both were thought up by the devil and may they always find a place in hell for all I care right now. Which one do I wish to spit upon first? Let's go with loans.
Well, I am part of the millions of unfortunate, disillusioned, debt-riddled young Americans who went looking for a dream of a better future and instead got slapped in the face repeatedly with loans, an atrocious job market, and a burst bubble. Welcome to my very unhappy life folks. And my hell on wheels is known as Sallie Mae. They railroaded me this morning, and I realized I'm part of a system that only cares about the cash signs on my palms instead of the dreams behind my eyes. The woman on the customer service line had the audacity to tell me, "I've spoken to so many young people who just didn't know what the loan meant" Well, hey, stupid, shouldn't that tell you something then? Don't you think that is a problem when so many students don't know what they're signing up for. Shouldn't that mean something? But no, it's easier to crush twenty somethings with mind numbing, hope killing loan payments than it is to actually help them.
I personally think its a problem when the only loan I qualified for was the one with no available repayment options and suddenly decided they needed to up my payments and the interest rate is through the roof. They lie when they say interest can be as low as 3%. It never is. It never will be. But hey, I could pay a FEE if I wanted to postpone payments. None of that would go towards my loans, and its only infinitesmially less than a monthly payment now. It doesn't matter that I can barely survive. I realize I am far from the only recent graduate to experience this kind of phenemenon. That's the discouraging aspect of this whole situation. There are literally millions of young people like me dealing with this nightmare. And an older generation completely baffled by it all. So many like me recieved no help but yet I was expected to know all about finances, and cars and rent and insurance and all the little tiny adulthood things I know absolutely nothing about. Yet when I entered college I was ignorant and didn't even know the definition of a budget. Money was some abstract green thought, and after being told countless times that tuition and food and all those things that cost money 'were taken care of' and then suddenly weren't, how was I suppose to know? Where does the learning come in when a financial mess is thrown in your lap, jumbled together like knotted ball of string and a blindfold taped over your eyes?
How can this system be better? How can we teach our youth about all of these aspect of adulthood. How can we make them take loans and just life seriously? So much of our lives are spent in adulthood, making careers, paying bills. But so many of young Americans walk into adulthood completely unprepared. You know what I needed in high school besides triganometry, a finances class, or maybe a cooking class. Or is it our parents responsibility to teach us? Well from my experience, most parents sort of assume you'll figure it out on your own. Or you'll ask. Biggest pet peeve. You should have asked. Well, earth to parent, most teenagers don't even know to ask. Just sayin'. But beyond the finances thing, there is so much about adult hood that no one teaches you or even prepares you for, and then you graduate from college and holy shit everything is so complicated and different and not at all like college and how do you deal? For chrissakes, how do I deal?
Are you really wondering why so many young men and women are depressed?
Which leads me nicely into healthcare. Fuck. You. Obamacare. I understand the importance and need for a socialized healthcare system, but right now I'm not really seeing one that works. AmeriCorps screwed me over with healthcare, after assuring me I was covered, but I then wasn't. Surprise! Yet I cannot afford the insurance offered to me by Obamacare. Why? Because I'm young and healthy. So, I end up paying for everyone else with a deductable I know I'll never reach. And with my loans so expensive, I can't budget healthcare in anyway. Even with my yearly salary, my lowest was above $150. So, government of mine, why do you think young Americans are rejecting federal healthcare? Because we can't afford it you dipshits. We have no jobs, loans crushing us, and you expect us to pay for healthcare on top of that? You have another thing coming. You thought wrong, muchachos.
Good luck trying to fix this mess.   

Quick Chat about What it means to be me

Three things you need to know about me:
First: I am an independent woman: I pay my bills on time, I educate myself, I walk all over the place alone and unafraid, I can drive, and cook, and be comfortable with my body, and eat healtily when I so desire. I am single. I don't live with my parents or call them for money when things get a little tight. I volunteer. I have a job and an apartment. No one needs to wake me up in the morning. No one can bully me without getting an earful back. I stand up for myself and for others. I'm an activist, especially for women's rights. I am a strong, independent woman. Boom.

Second: I am emotionally dependent. I have insecurities. I like being around people more than I like being alone. I like having friends around. In fact, many times I need friends around. I suffer from depression, frequently. I want to feel loved. And I voice these needs on a very consistent basis. I need people around. I need emotional support from my friends and family and loved ones. I'm not saying that I need others to carry my baggage for me. Certainly this is not so. Just that I'm not a person who can handle all their emotional and mental insecurities on my own. I need to be surrounded by friends, I need to hear and feel their support.

Three: I am content with this. I don't need to change who I am. If I want to feel loved and have emotional support from my friends, well by god, I'm going to have it.

Now, this is where the tricky part arises. Many people would condemn me for this seemingly contradictary statements. I'm an independent woman who can pay bills, but I need emotional support? What? How dare I be a person that isn't one dimensional! I don't think its wrong for someone to need other people. I can make it through the endless days on my own, I don't need someone to hold my hand when I make my student loan payments. But sometimes, when I'm feeling sad or lonely, I need someone to hold my hand then. And I think there is a stigma around this. For both me and women.
Why is it when a man or woman needs some sort of help, especially mental or emotional,  they should feel ashamed? Asking for help or accepting you need it is such a difficult task. When you need help, ask. You're not weak or any less a human being because you do. When you're hungry, you ask for food. If you're lonely, why can't you seek out the company and warmth of another human being? More importantly, if you are depressed, why shouldn't you be able to ask and receive help? Mental disorders are not the sign of the week. Desiring emotional support and love isn't either. It's a part of who you are and what you want out of life.
Not exactly a Life Lesson or a rant of any kind. Just a little bit about myself. And maybe a few thoughts for readers to ponder over.