What's the meaning behind this?

The other day, I had this great conversation with a friend of mine, and we came round to a very sensitive subject for many women. Weight. It's a topic both men and women prefer to veer away from, and frankly, I don't blame them. It's a sensitive topic, and the source for much mental anguish in many people. An epidemic of eating disorders has spread like wildfire through American society, creating a very dichotomic image in the media: the rail thin and the obese.
My friend and I focused more on the latter, of why obesity is shadowed in an aura of disdain. But the question that arose most often was a peculiar one: why do friends avoid answering 'yes' when another friend asks if they look/are fat? I'm sure all women have either asked this question or been asked this question. It slips out my mouth more often then I care to admit. It's a deadly question, for both parties.
For one, a simple answer, to this would be that as we are all individuals, we all have our own versions of what constitutes obesity. For one person, it may a size six in jeans, for another it may a size sixteen. We all see this shape of a body through only our eyes. But we also must acknowledge how we come to see these variations is also different. As a society, we rely greatly on media and image, our families play a huge role, our socio-economic status, our ethnicity, our careers, our hobbies. All of these play a role in that. So, when my friend asks me if she is overweight, I will of course say no.
But then I thought: what if she is? Would I still say no? Probably. So why then?
For one, I believe when we say words like 'fat' or 'obese' we don't just associate those words with physical appearance. There is so much more behind that word now: a whole list of adjectives we would never associate with our friends. Some of these are: lazy, ugly, unclean, unworthy, shameful, unhealthy, disgraceful, gluttonous, and disgusting.
Basically when we think fat, we think these traits. It's why we never admit to our friends that yes, maybe they are a bigger person. It's not bad to be a bigger man or woman. But we don't want to admit to our friends that we associate them with any of those severely negative traits that tag along with the word 'fat' or 'obese' because they are our friends and we know them to not to be any of those things.
So why are all those negative traits dumped on to one three letter word? Well the cult of skinniness certainly plays a key role in this. The idea that if someone isn't a size zero, it's because they are too lazy to excerise. Or maybe they are just too gluttonous. It's a complicated mix.
I just try to remember that skinny is not always healthy and being bigger than a size eight doesn't mean you are unhealthy. Humans come in all sizes, it's true. And your physical appearance does not make you a good or bad person. I'm sure there is more I can say on this subject and I apologize for the un-political correctness of this post. It's just some thoughts, folks.  

Why do the poor need to look poor?

This question has been wandering around the avenues of my brain for a while now. As most people frequent The Facebook, I'm sure you've seen those little icons, ranting about people on welfare. You know those little blurbs that rant if you are wearing nice clothes, have neatly painted nails, have an iPhone, or you know, generally look like a middle class American, you deserve to be kicked into jail or have your money revoked. Because how dare you have the audacity to look decent and be on welfare! Why don't you look poor?! I think these idiotic posts are some of the most ridiculous, ignorant pieces of garbage. Or at least it's up there on my list. You have no idea what the specific circumstances are surrounding that individual, do not be so quick to judge. You, good gentlefolk, do not know the specific stories behind that individual. But also, I think so often, we as a society forget that the people and families using poverty relief programs like TANF and SNAP are individuals. They are not some amorphous blob will all the same needs, intentions, situations, and backgrounds. Those on welfare are people, individuals with lives. I think it would due us well to remember that when next we see someone using a SNAP card.
I am on SNAP (Suplemental Nutrition Assistance Program), which alotts me a specific amount of money to be used for groceries. I must emphasize the groceries because I cannot purchase hot and ready foods, alcohol of any kind, use this money to treat myself to dinner at a restaurant, or even buy most prepackaged meals. I can buy seeds to plant a vegetable garden if I so desired but not a rotisserie chicken. The limitations on SNAP are restrictive and leave little room for 'playing the system'. I also have a service job, in case any of you were curious, but I'm still in need to assistance to feed myself. So, I work full time and still need assistance purchasing basic needs. I am not an exception here, folks. Many individuals who rely on SNAP benefits have jobs, or are retired individuals. Also, in case you were curious, SNAP is one of the most proven methods to help relieve families and individuals from intense poverty. Amazing what someone can do when they don't have to worry about food.
That leads me into my next question: why do we have so much hate for programs like this? Just recently, Republicans put forth a bill that slashes SNAP benefits by millions. SNAP (formerly known as Food Stamps) help families physically by allowing them to buy food they need but also mentally by relieving the stress of wondering when their next meal might be. It's hard to explain to the stress and anxiety one feels not knowing how to obtain food, and I'm just one person. I cannot even fathom how much it must intensify if you have children or other dependents. Do really think this will alleviate the deficit? Do you really believe cutting benefits to families and impoverished homes is the answer? Even I can tell you, it won't assist anyone. And don't get me started about the disproportionate numbers of women rather than men on the program. That's another blog post for another time.
America has a real problem with the poor. SNAP is a very beneficial program, I know I need it. And plenty others do. I also believe that SNAP has the power to help a great many people. Yet we as a society expect that those who need to always need SNAP to always need it (which was statistically disproven…yes, yes statistics lie, but roll with me on this one) and that it only propagates a culture of poverty. Many of good ole tax paying Americans see someone using this and immediately want a physical description of poor: ragged clothing, unkempt appearance, dirty. Basically if you don't look like the stereotypical homeless person, you don't need assistance. This is such a wrong image. If you don't fit my narrow view of poor, then you obviously can't be poor.
This is so wrong, and only prevents necessary help form reaching those who need it. We have created this aura of shame around poverty. This feeling is so strong it prevents many, many people from even applying for benefits, when for a majority of the time, these benefits allow for the escape route from living below the poverty line. Shame is not what the American public should be placing on fellow citizens who need help. Poverty does not equate laziness, unkempt appearances, or beget a lower place in life. Poverty is an unheard and often ignored story. So don't judge. Ever. Period.
When that person in front of you, dressed in a jacket without holes and clean jeans, pulls out a SNAP card, don't judge them. Don't continue this cycle of middle class condescension, don't promote this culture of shame.