The other day, I had this great conversation with a friend of mine, and we came round to a very sensitive subject for many women. Weight. It's a topic both men and women prefer to veer away from, and frankly, I don't blame them. It's a sensitive topic, and the source for much mental anguish in many people. An epidemic of eating disorders has spread like wildfire through American society, creating a very dichotomic image in the media: the rail thin and the obese.
My friend and I focused more on the latter, of why obesity is shadowed in an aura of disdain. But the question that arose most often was a peculiar one: why do friends avoid answering 'yes' when another friend asks if they look/are fat? I'm sure all women have either asked this question or been asked this question. It slips out my mouth more often then I care to admit. It's a deadly question, for both parties.
For one, a simple answer, to this would be that as we are all individuals, we all have our own versions of what constitutes obesity. For one person, it may a size six in jeans, for another it may a size sixteen. We all see this shape of a body through only our eyes. But we also must acknowledge how we come to see these variations is also different. As a society, we rely greatly on media and image, our families play a huge role, our socio-economic status, our ethnicity, our careers, our hobbies. All of these play a role in that. So, when my friend asks me if she is overweight, I will of course say no.
But then I thought: what if she is? Would I still say no? Probably. So why then?
For one, I believe when we say words like 'fat' or 'obese' we don't just associate those words with physical appearance. There is so much more behind that word now: a whole list of adjectives we would never associate with our friends. Some of these are: lazy, ugly, unclean, unworthy, shameful, unhealthy, disgraceful, gluttonous, and disgusting.
Basically when we think fat, we think these traits. It's why we never admit to our friends that yes, maybe they are a bigger person. It's not bad to be a bigger man or woman. But we don't want to admit to our friends that we associate them with any of those severely negative traits that tag along with the word 'fat' or 'obese' because they are our friends and we know them to not to be any of those things.
So why are all those negative traits dumped on to one three letter word? Well the cult of skinniness certainly plays a key role in this. The idea that if someone isn't a size zero, it's because they are too lazy to excerise. Or maybe they are just too gluttonous. It's a complicated mix.
I just try to remember that skinny is not always healthy and being bigger than a size eight doesn't mean you are unhealthy. Humans come in all sizes, it's true. And your physical appearance does not make you a good or bad person. I'm sure there is more I can say on this subject and I apologize for the un-political correctness of this post. It's just some thoughts, folks.
My friend and I focused more on the latter, of why obesity is shadowed in an aura of disdain. But the question that arose most often was a peculiar one: why do friends avoid answering 'yes' when another friend asks if they look/are fat? I'm sure all women have either asked this question or been asked this question. It slips out my mouth more often then I care to admit. It's a deadly question, for both parties.
For one, a simple answer, to this would be that as we are all individuals, we all have our own versions of what constitutes obesity. For one person, it may a size six in jeans, for another it may a size sixteen. We all see this shape of a body through only our eyes. But we also must acknowledge how we come to see these variations is also different. As a society, we rely greatly on media and image, our families play a huge role, our socio-economic status, our ethnicity, our careers, our hobbies. All of these play a role in that. So, when my friend asks me if she is overweight, I will of course say no.
But then I thought: what if she is? Would I still say no? Probably. So why then?
For one, I believe when we say words like 'fat' or 'obese' we don't just associate those words with physical appearance. There is so much more behind that word now: a whole list of adjectives we would never associate with our friends. Some of these are: lazy, ugly, unclean, unworthy, shameful, unhealthy, disgraceful, gluttonous, and disgusting.
Basically when we think fat, we think these traits. It's why we never admit to our friends that yes, maybe they are a bigger person. It's not bad to be a bigger man or woman. But we don't want to admit to our friends that we associate them with any of those severely negative traits that tag along with the word 'fat' or 'obese' because they are our friends and we know them to not to be any of those things.
So why are all those negative traits dumped on to one three letter word? Well the cult of skinniness certainly plays a key role in this. The idea that if someone isn't a size zero, it's because they are too lazy to excerise. Or maybe they are just too gluttonous. It's a complicated mix.
I just try to remember that skinny is not always healthy and being bigger than a size eight doesn't mean you are unhealthy. Humans come in all sizes, it's true. And your physical appearance does not make you a good or bad person. I'm sure there is more I can say on this subject and I apologize for the un-political correctness of this post. It's just some thoughts, folks.
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