This is such a load of horseshit. Excuse the profanity. But to be fair, that's really the only word that can accurately describe this phrase. I cannot tell you how often I've it from multiple different people. Don't believe it - it's a lie. Nothing more than a pretty lie you're told to make you feel better. I hold it up there along the lines of "it's not you, it's me."
I've had two men in the last six months utter this phrase to me. Plus countless others as a pathetic attempt to make me feel better about the fact I'm single. All I have to say to that is Stop. With a capital 'S'.
Here is some news for you: I am the only one who decides what is best for me. I am the only one who decides what I deserve. Me. Not you. Not you man who broke up with me because of reasons still mostly unknown to me. Not you who decided to lead me on and then tell me no. Not you best friend who is trying to be supportive. Not you mother, or father, or family member, or even just friends in general. No one. It's not a helpful phrase, you're not making me feel better. In fact, you're making the person I was just with sound like a loser and I spent however long dating someone beneath me. But I didn't. Plus, again, let me reiterate, I'm the only one who gets to decide that, what I deserve and when and how. Me.
Stop telling people they deserve better, because maybe they didn't want better or maybe they do. You don't know. In the rare case, maybe they don't deserve better. But here's the problem with 'deserving better' no one is willing to give it to you. You can wait around for better for a really long time, and it won't show up. It's not going to land in your lap (unfortunately, I know, I wish it did, really). But when other people try to tell you this - especially as they smash your heart into tiny pieces - it sounds as hollow as the phrase really is. It's just a nice way for your partner to end things but attempt to sound pleasant about it. Like it's for your benefit. "It's because you deserve better." Well, let me tell you. You don't decide that buddy. Just tell me the truth and don't disguise it with pretty little lies. Because you know what? Even if I deserve better, maybe I wanted you.
Stop using that phrase. I deserve better than the way I've been treated. And you know who decided that? Me, all on my own. And that is my advice. Don't let anyone bullshit you with that phrase. Don't let anyone tell you what you deserve in a relationship, an education, a job, a career, a friend. You decide, no one else.
I've had two men in the last six months utter this phrase to me. Plus countless others as a pathetic attempt to make me feel better about the fact I'm single. All I have to say to that is Stop. With a capital 'S'.
Here is some news for you: I am the only one who decides what is best for me. I am the only one who decides what I deserve. Me. Not you. Not you man who broke up with me because of reasons still mostly unknown to me. Not you who decided to lead me on and then tell me no. Not you best friend who is trying to be supportive. Not you mother, or father, or family member, or even just friends in general. No one. It's not a helpful phrase, you're not making me feel better. In fact, you're making the person I was just with sound like a loser and I spent however long dating someone beneath me. But I didn't. Plus, again, let me reiterate, I'm the only one who gets to decide that, what I deserve and when and how. Me.
Stop telling people they deserve better, because maybe they didn't want better or maybe they do. You don't know. In the rare case, maybe they don't deserve better. But here's the problem with 'deserving better' no one is willing to give it to you. You can wait around for better for a really long time, and it won't show up. It's not going to land in your lap (unfortunately, I know, I wish it did, really). But when other people try to tell you this - especially as they smash your heart into tiny pieces - it sounds as hollow as the phrase really is. It's just a nice way for your partner to end things but attempt to sound pleasant about it. Like it's for your benefit. "It's because you deserve better." Well, let me tell you. You don't decide that buddy. Just tell me the truth and don't disguise it with pretty little lies. Because you know what? Even if I deserve better, maybe I wanted you.
Stop using that phrase. I deserve better than the way I've been treated. And you know who decided that? Me, all on my own. And that is my advice. Don't let anyone bullshit you with that phrase. Don't let anyone tell you what you deserve in a relationship, an education, a job, a career, a friend. You decide, no one else.
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