Dear fake nerd guys,
I know you've become a bit of a myth, slinking back into your holes where you shun the light of day and the horde of us angry, real nerd girls who are tired of your crap. Because I am tired of it. You don't lurk around comic stores as much (for which I am grateful). But I know you exist. I deal with your stupidity on a regular basis.
First: do not come into my place of work and attempt to tell me how to do a better job. I will ignore you. I may smile politely because it is retail and I am paid to be polite but that is about as much pleasantry you will receive from me. I will not take your suggestions, even if you have 'been in this business for a while'. I don't care. Really. At all. Please keep your policies to yourself. I mean, does it really look like I'm interested in your faux hawk? Dyed some strange orange? With your creepy trench coat? Because trust me, I am not interested. Not one bit.
Second: Do not mention superheroes and comics to illicit a reaction because I mentioned something to my co-worker. You know who was part of that conversation? Not you. Do not lean across the counter top I am using to keep you at bay. Do not tell me how 'you would love to be a home writing about superheroes' and that 'you love Batman'. Do you know who loves Batman?' every-effin'-one. You know who doesn't like Batman? Me. Don't assume my knowledge of comics and heroes begins and ends with him. I prefer Wonder Woman, because you know, I want someone with edge and a story that doesn't involve dead parents. Yes, I went there. But you don't know that because you are a jerk and make assumptions about me and my hobbies.
Third: Here is what gets me. I answered you "oh that's cool. I'm a comic fan too'. And in what strange, alternative reality does "really, you don't really look like someone who would like comics. I mean comics are pretty nerdy thing to like" SOUND LIKE A GOOD REPLY TO YOU? I mean, for real, no really what thought process lead to that conclusion? Did you even regret the words as they came out of your mouth? I know I gave you a polite smile when every thought was an expletive directed at you like a silent hex. Is this your manner of flirting? Here, I'm sure there is a flirting for dummies somewhere around. Or maybe you need a how-to-treat-women-like-human-beings for dummies. Sheesh. So then, brilliant boy you are, you continue. You ask me who I like (I know this ploy, you expect someone generic or boy-toyish hero so you can school me, I've come across this out dated technique before, little do you know). I tell you Captain Marvel. Here, here is your downfall.
Fourth: If you wish to teach me a lesson about comics, know your comics asshole. Captain Marvel is a female Marvel comic hero. And for the record, although you disagree, lady heroes are just as real and strong as their male counterparts. Captain Marvel in the DC universe (and don't give me that look at about DC, only real comic nerds can complain about DC), he is now Shazam. Also Billy Batson. Once Captain Marvel but was constantly confused with the Marvel character, Captain Marvel. Who is now tall, blonde, and awesome. She was once Ms. Marvel, but was given an upgraded name to better suit just how awesome she is. Ms. Marvel is now a Muslim-American, who Wolverine quite admires (spoilers). But you would have known this, if you were actually any sort of a comic fan and the proclaimed Marvel enthusiast. Then do not blurt out some absurd comment about Thor not really being Thor because is never actually a guy is was a frog and now a woman. And women can't be Thor. And he was that doctor guy for a while. And then he was dead. What exactly are you saying? I don't know. I calmly reply that you are confused, that Thor is still Thor, the character is about the actions not the gender.
Sensing your downfall at the hands of this nerd girl, you tell me that female superheroes don't really count, because if they did, there would be a movie about them. Well, gee, you got me there. I know it took me a few moments to consolidate my thoughts into an answer, because I really wanted you to understand something. There are superhero movies because they come a comic. Movies don't validate the comic. Hell if that was the case, Catwoman would have disappeared after that disastrous early 2000s film. Anyway, in your tiny little brain, that would make sense, wouldn't it? Women can only be validated through big budgeted films and objectification through visual media. So I told you that comics were more than the movies made, and female superheroes in the Marvel U had some of the top selling stories. Thankfully, you stopped talking after that.
But you managed to put me in a foul mood. Because I'm so exhausted of having to prove myself as a nerd when I don't actually want to prove myself to anyone. I can't mention a nerdy thing without it being thrown back into my face.
I've been told when I am angry and become sarcastic I lose my point. Well you know what, you don't deserve my niceness. You don't deserve any sort of kindness for automatically assuming me to be ignorant and stupid. So guess what? You get the same treatment. So nerd guys who think its okay to judge a woman because she is a woman and has the audacity to look, feel, think beyond the skimpy outfits poised for you on the covers of a comic book, you need to revaluate the way you think are. I am more than an outfit, I am more than some obsession for you, I am here in this world too and enjoy certain things and want to enjoy them without having to validate my enjoyment of it as real.
This was a very long, sarcastic rant but this is a part of my life constantly put on the defense, constantly interrogated by people I don't even know, that need to attack this part of me for no other reason than I am a woman. Comics are not a domain just for straight men. It's a genre that should be open to all given its history as a recluse for outcasts. So, what's the deal? We nerd girls aren't going away and we certainly won't remain nice to you bullies who badger us.
I will not stop pressing this issue until I can walk, talk, think, laugh comics without the fear I will be badgered by some random nerd stranger. We should bond over this, not attack each other. Captain Marvel wouldn't stand for this type of misogyny, so neither will I. Through the use of some anger and a load of sarcasm (my only defense against this type of thing), I will valiantly remain on the vanguard of this issue, defending the rights of comic loving ladies everywhere.
I know you've become a bit of a myth, slinking back into your holes where you shun the light of day and the horde of us angry, real nerd girls who are tired of your crap. Because I am tired of it. You don't lurk around comic stores as much (for which I am grateful). But I know you exist. I deal with your stupidity on a regular basis.
First: do not come into my place of work and attempt to tell me how to do a better job. I will ignore you. I may smile politely because it is retail and I am paid to be polite but that is about as much pleasantry you will receive from me. I will not take your suggestions, even if you have 'been in this business for a while'. I don't care. Really. At all. Please keep your policies to yourself. I mean, does it really look like I'm interested in your faux hawk? Dyed some strange orange? With your creepy trench coat? Because trust me, I am not interested. Not one bit.
Second: Do not mention superheroes and comics to illicit a reaction because I mentioned something to my co-worker. You know who was part of that conversation? Not you. Do not lean across the counter top I am using to keep you at bay. Do not tell me how 'you would love to be a home writing about superheroes' and that 'you love Batman'. Do you know who loves Batman?' every-effin'-one. You know who doesn't like Batman? Me. Don't assume my knowledge of comics and heroes begins and ends with him. I prefer Wonder Woman, because you know, I want someone with edge and a story that doesn't involve dead parents. Yes, I went there. But you don't know that because you are a jerk and make assumptions about me and my hobbies.
Third: Here is what gets me. I answered you "oh that's cool. I'm a comic fan too'. And in what strange, alternative reality does "really, you don't really look like someone who would like comics. I mean comics are pretty nerdy thing to like" SOUND LIKE A GOOD REPLY TO YOU? I mean, for real, no really what thought process lead to that conclusion? Did you even regret the words as they came out of your mouth? I know I gave you a polite smile when every thought was an expletive directed at you like a silent hex. Is this your manner of flirting? Here, I'm sure there is a flirting for dummies somewhere around. Or maybe you need a how-to-treat-women-like-human-beings for dummies. Sheesh. So then, brilliant boy you are, you continue. You ask me who I like (I know this ploy, you expect someone generic or boy-toyish hero so you can school me, I've come across this out dated technique before, little do you know). I tell you Captain Marvel. Here, here is your downfall.
Fourth: If you wish to teach me a lesson about comics, know your comics asshole. Captain Marvel is a female Marvel comic hero. And for the record, although you disagree, lady heroes are just as real and strong as their male counterparts. Captain Marvel in the DC universe (and don't give me that look at about DC, only real comic nerds can complain about DC), he is now Shazam. Also Billy Batson. Once Captain Marvel but was constantly confused with the Marvel character, Captain Marvel. Who is now tall, blonde, and awesome. She was once Ms. Marvel, but was given an upgraded name to better suit just how awesome she is. Ms. Marvel is now a Muslim-American, who Wolverine quite admires (spoilers). But you would have known this, if you were actually any sort of a comic fan and the proclaimed Marvel enthusiast. Then do not blurt out some absurd comment about Thor not really being Thor because is never actually a guy is was a frog and now a woman. And women can't be Thor. And he was that doctor guy for a while. And then he was dead. What exactly are you saying? I don't know. I calmly reply that you are confused, that Thor is still Thor, the character is about the actions not the gender.
Sensing your downfall at the hands of this nerd girl, you tell me that female superheroes don't really count, because if they did, there would be a movie about them. Well, gee, you got me there. I know it took me a few moments to consolidate my thoughts into an answer, because I really wanted you to understand something. There are superhero movies because they come a comic. Movies don't validate the comic. Hell if that was the case, Catwoman would have disappeared after that disastrous early 2000s film. Anyway, in your tiny little brain, that would make sense, wouldn't it? Women can only be validated through big budgeted films and objectification through visual media. So I told you that comics were more than the movies made, and female superheroes in the Marvel U had some of the top selling stories. Thankfully, you stopped talking after that.
But you managed to put me in a foul mood. Because I'm so exhausted of having to prove myself as a nerd when I don't actually want to prove myself to anyone. I can't mention a nerdy thing without it being thrown back into my face.
I've been told when I am angry and become sarcastic I lose my point. Well you know what, you don't deserve my niceness. You don't deserve any sort of kindness for automatically assuming me to be ignorant and stupid. So guess what? You get the same treatment. So nerd guys who think its okay to judge a woman because she is a woman and has the audacity to look, feel, think beyond the skimpy outfits poised for you on the covers of a comic book, you need to revaluate the way you think are. I am more than an outfit, I am more than some obsession for you, I am here in this world too and enjoy certain things and want to enjoy them without having to validate my enjoyment of it as real.
This was a very long, sarcastic rant but this is a part of my life constantly put on the defense, constantly interrogated by people I don't even know, that need to attack this part of me for no other reason than I am a woman. Comics are not a domain just for straight men. It's a genre that should be open to all given its history as a recluse for outcasts. So, what's the deal? We nerd girls aren't going away and we certainly won't remain nice to you bullies who badger us.
I will not stop pressing this issue until I can walk, talk, think, laugh comics without the fear I will be badgered by some random nerd stranger. We should bond over this, not attack each other. Captain Marvel wouldn't stand for this type of misogyny, so neither will I. Through the use of some anger and a load of sarcasm (my only defense against this type of thing), I will valiantly remain on the vanguard of this issue, defending the rights of comic loving ladies everywhere.
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