So last evening, a fellow and I were having a discussion about life. And by discussion I mean I talked a lot and he listened intently. He's a cool dude. But I also say that about anyone who will let me chatter away uninterrupted. I like to talk for those of you who haven't met me.
Anyway, I mentioned that I consider myself to be successful in life thus far, even though I'm not even a quarter of a century old yet and haven't done much with my life. Except kick the ass out of some depression, get published, maintain a blog, complete a year of AmeriCorps, and pay my rent on time. Out all of that, the rent thing is the most impressive. I have such wild adventures, I know. Crazy me. In-sane.
So, he asked me why I felt this way, and it took a moment, but I have reached an amazing pinnacle in my short life. I am in a way on the summit looking down at the cliff face I just spent a year climbing and I feel successful, I feel better about life than I have in a long while. I respect myself, something I fear I lost. I just completed a very long, arduous training to be CSL advocate (Crisis and Support Line) for SARSSM. An amazing group of people helping those effected by sexual assault in Southern Maine. So, between that and two jobs, I spent an extraordinary amount of time helping other people. Because more than anything that is what I love to do. I love my blog and my friends and drinking red wine with pasta and comics and books. I love to read and hike. I spend much of my waking time loving things because I feel strongly about almost everything I do. I'm not much of a middle ground person, I either love or hate. I don't do ambivalency. I do passion and love. And most importantly, I love helping people. I love working where I do because I can help people first hand and also know my efforts and work go to helping Catholic Charities do the work they do. There is a cycle of good here, that I can keep going.
I sleep quite soundly at night.
So, volunteering is one way for me to give the one resources I have nothing but to give: time. I can let them talk so I can listen. I can give them my compassion and empathy, because I do not have much money. And I'm so okay with that. I can give them something better. At least, I see this is as something better. I realize this is a very idealistic view of the world and myself. I know many other would prefer money. I know some people prefer the material. Heck, I prefer the material sometimes. And even though I live pay check to paycheck, I know I can still give back. I can still do something to make life a little better for someone.
So, why am I successful? Because even without money, I can still maintain a lifestyle I have always wanted. I can still help out where I can. I can still lend an ear, still laugh with my friends, still cook for those I love. I can still dream big dreams.
Because I can still say to myself "I can" and not doubt myself, that I can happily live in the positive, give good, and receive good.
So, this post mya have been a huge pat on the back for myself, but hey, this is my blog and I'm going to write what I want. Maybe, this will inspire others to go out and give a little kindness. I see so much negativity, and its' true, there are many instances where I lose my faith in humanity. But then, I try not to give up hope. This doesn't have to be a losing battle.
Anyway, I mentioned that I consider myself to be successful in life thus far, even though I'm not even a quarter of a century old yet and haven't done much with my life. Except kick the ass out of some depression, get published, maintain a blog, complete a year of AmeriCorps, and pay my rent on time. Out all of that, the rent thing is the most impressive. I have such wild adventures, I know. Crazy me. In-sane.
So, he asked me why I felt this way, and it took a moment, but I have reached an amazing pinnacle in my short life. I am in a way on the summit looking down at the cliff face I just spent a year climbing and I feel successful, I feel better about life than I have in a long while. I respect myself, something I fear I lost. I just completed a very long, arduous training to be CSL advocate (Crisis and Support Line) for SARSSM. An amazing group of people helping those effected by sexual assault in Southern Maine. So, between that and two jobs, I spent an extraordinary amount of time helping other people. Because more than anything that is what I love to do. I love my blog and my friends and drinking red wine with pasta and comics and books. I love to read and hike. I spend much of my waking time loving things because I feel strongly about almost everything I do. I'm not much of a middle ground person, I either love or hate. I don't do ambivalency. I do passion and love. And most importantly, I love helping people. I love working where I do because I can help people first hand and also know my efforts and work go to helping Catholic Charities do the work they do. There is a cycle of good here, that I can keep going.
I sleep quite soundly at night.
So, volunteering is one way for me to give the one resources I have nothing but to give: time. I can let them talk so I can listen. I can give them my compassion and empathy, because I do not have much money. And I'm so okay with that. I can give them something better. At least, I see this is as something better. I realize this is a very idealistic view of the world and myself. I know many other would prefer money. I know some people prefer the material. Heck, I prefer the material sometimes. And even though I live pay check to paycheck, I know I can still give back. I can still do something to make life a little better for someone.
So, why am I successful? Because even without money, I can still maintain a lifestyle I have always wanted. I can still help out where I can. I can still lend an ear, still laugh with my friends, still cook for those I love. I can still dream big dreams.
Because I can still say to myself "I can" and not doubt myself, that I can happily live in the positive, give good, and receive good.
So, this post mya have been a huge pat on the back for myself, but hey, this is my blog and I'm going to write what I want. Maybe, this will inspire others to go out and give a little kindness. I see so much negativity, and its' true, there are many instances where I lose my faith in humanity. But then, I try not to give up hope. This doesn't have to be a losing battle.
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